The music of insects at 2:30AM is exquisite. They harmonise beautifully with each other as the leaves sway in the wind. Why didn’t I know this before?
As I tap my foot and ask myself what keeps me from getting up and dancing in the back yard – it’s not the landlord; he already knows I’m weird – I observe all the random thoughts that meander through my brain.
I have a random memory of that guy I flirted with many years ago, when I was still living as Nancy. We both seemed to toy with the idea of asking the other out for a couple of weeks before he finally said: “So, what are you doing this weekend?” I replied that I was performing in a drag king show on Friday but that I was free on Saturday. I never heard from him again.
Oh, it’s ok. Don’t be sad. I’m not. I’ve come to be amused by the limits people keep on themselves.
My brain moves on and it occurs to me that some thoughts are like candy. My brain enjoys thinking about them so much that it could just keep thinking them for hours and not get bored. For example, the concept of thinking. Delicious.
But sometimes there is a glitch in the system – kind of like when there is a brown out and your screen does this weird jumpy thing. It happens so fast that you’re not sure whether you really saw it. Same with my brain. But then the brain candy is gone. Poof! And I can’t remember it’s texture or taste. Just that it was SO GOOD.
Those insects though. *tap tap*
For the first time in just about forever, as far as I know, I picture myself as myself. Well, it’s more like I feel/see the energy I’m projecting out into the world as looking like me and not like someone else.
It occurs to me that synesthesia makes life really interesting. Combined with an introvert brain, it makes it so that I’m never really bored as long as I have my thoughts. They are not just like candy. They take on a multisensorial nature so that I don’t just think them. I see, feel, hear, taste, and smell them.
Then there was this guy I danced with tonight who thought I must be wearing a wig. I let him pull on it. It was amusing.
But sometimes it’s really hard to choose between Skittles and Froot Loops.
3:00AM and the insects are still at it. I should really come listen to them more often.